Who am I to judge?

 

While in Ambo, we met another little girl, whose name I have since forgotten, but whose story will likely haunt me the rest of my life.   Pictured above, she is the one holding a little baby . . . Most of us would say we left our hearts in Shone.  I think we would also agree that our hearts were broken in Ambo.  Have you heard that before?  This little girl is another reason why.

If I had to guess, I would say this little girl is between 8-10 years of age.  We met her while handing out gifts to the sponsored children in Ambo.  We primarily brought gifts for the sponsored children, but not knowing exactly what sizes we were going to need, we always brought extra things with us.  This little girl was not one of the sponsored children, but she was a child the church had tried to help and had a special place in their hearts for. 

Pochi first met her several years ago, begging on the streets.  While trying to reach out to her, they discovered that her mom was desperately ill with AIDS.  Knowing that her mom did not have long to live, the church offered to help find a home for her, but the mother refused.  The mother's older daughters were unkind and uncaring, and she needed her youngest daughter to take care of her.  She sent her out to the street at a very young age to beg for food and money.  And when given the chance to give her daughter a better life, she chose to keep her with her.

Now, this little girl lives with an older sister and the sister's family.  From what we learned, they do not treat her very well.  She is in charge of taking care of the sister's baby all day and then sent out to the street to beg. 

I think of the life she has and the life she could have had and it makes me so angry.  I have been having a very difficult time not judging her mother, who I have never met and only know through this story.  Was her decision selfish?  Was she acting out of love for her daughter or love for herself? 

We invited this little girl into the gates, while other children stood hanging on the gates begging to come in and participate in our celebration.  We found clothes that fit this beautiful girl.  And then, like all the others, we sent her on her way. 

Later in the day, we happened upon her again when we were visiting Alem.  She had changed out of her new clothes and was wearing rags.  Most of the children we gave clothes to didn't take them off.  I was concerned that maybe someone had taken her new things from her, so I asked Pochi.  She told me that she was much to "tough" to have anything taken from her.  When asked, she said she was saving her new outfit for the upcoming holiday. 

I asked Pochi what would happen to her.  Her honest answer was this:  It's too late for her to ever be able to join a family.  She has been on the street too long and has had too many freedoms.  She would never be able to conform to the restrictions of a family.

And my heart broke. 

Because she could have had a family.

She could have had a mother and father who loved her.

She could have had siblings to play with and fight with.

She could have been going to school.

She could have had a closet full of clothes.

She could have had a full tummy, and a warm bed, and baby doll to play with.

I think of Alem and the sacrifice she made when she thought she was going to die.  She chose a better life for her children.  And she lived.  While this other mother chose the opposite.

This morning we read Matthew 25:1-13 in church.  It's a tough one . . . are we wise or foolish?  Not knowing when we will meet the one and only judge that matters, will we be ready?  Are the choices we make today preparing us for that day, for judgment day? 

I have no control over what happened or what happens to this little girl across the world.  It is not my job to judge this mom, although judgment comes quickly and easily, especially when children are involved.

So, what is my job?  This is what we read today:

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

Matthew 25:13

 

We even had a bracelet for her. 

Wearing her new outfit.  This pair of pants was much too small. 
We had a bigger pair for her but she insisted on keeping these too.
I don't blame her.  Quite possibly the first new pair of pants she'd ever had. 

Follow-up on Sweet Mesilu and the Looms

Sweet Mesilu

We just received word and pictures that Mesilu and her family received their beds!  Oh, what wonderful news! 

A man from Covenant church built three frames and then straw mattresses and blankets were purchased.  In addition, a neighbor agreed to share electricity so they can have a light at night.  You can't imagine what a gift this is for the family. 

When the rainy season comes soon, the family will also be able to plant a vegetable garden as they now have some funds for seeds.

Thank you to everyone who helped us bless this family.  My heart is singing with this update!!!! 

New Beds!!!!!

The family that stays with Mesilu and her family. 
Mesilu's BFF in purple, still wearing the outfit we brought!!!! 

Mesilu and her brothers on their new bed!!!
Mesilu still looking darling in the outfit we brought! 

LOOMS

We also received word that the first metal loom has been constructed for the Covenant Sisters in Holeta!  The hope is that 6 looms will be ready by the end of the month.

Constructing the loom
(The same man built the loom and the beds for Mesilu.)

Again, we can't thank you enough for helping us bless the Covenant Sisters with these looms.  We are so excited to hear about their progress as they begin to weave!  Please continue to remember them in prayer as they learn a new trade. 

My Valentine

1993 (Aren't we cute?!?!?!)

 

I've done a lot of gushing over my daughters on this site . . . and who can blame me? 
They are pretty cute.

But today, I recognize the man
who was the boy...
who stole my heart...
who popped the question...
who said I do.

I couldn't love you more! 
 

2004 (Best day ever!)

 

I can't imagine

sharing my life,

raising a family,

or waiting for anyone else to come home after a long day!

 



2013 (Family of 4)

Anniversaries

Tomorrow morning when I wake up it will be the three month anniversary of my broken heart.  The three month anniversary of losing a cherished friend.  The three month anniversary of questions and tears and sadness. 

Not a day has gone by in the last three months that I haven't thought of her.  Missed her.  Remembered her.  Wanted to see her.

I don't cry every day anymore.  Some days I find myself smiling or laughing as memories float by.  Other days I am completely caught off-guard by a tidal wave of grief.  And disbelief.  And some days, I look for her wherever I can find her. 

I have done so many things in the last 3 months that I never ever would have imagined myself doing.  I have done so many things without her that I wouldn't have typically done.  And I know it is just the beginning of this year of firsts. 

My sister keeps saying, "I can't believe this is part of my story." 

I say, "Me either."

She says, "We were supposed to grow old together."

I say, "We were."

And so tomorrow, we'll wake up to the 3 month anniversary of losing you.  It makes me not want to go to bed to postpone waking up.  I don't like this kind of anniversary. 

Maybe, as time passes, we'll be able to face these days with more joy and less sadness. 

But tonite, I cry for the friend I lost too soon.  Thinking long winter days are so much longer and wintery without her. 

January 2009

I miss you!

Alem

I have said many times that we left our hearts in Shone.  But my heart was broken in Ambo.  I don't really know how to explain the difference between these two communities, except that when in Shone, in spite of their extreme poverty, we saw and felt JOY from the people we met.  We heard about their love for Jesus in Shone.  We felt hope in Shone.

 

Ambo was different.  We met beautiful people and held beautiful babies.  Played with beautiful children and visited with beautiful grandmas.  But something was missing in Ambo.  Joy?  Hope?  The truth about Jesus? 

 

Like Shone, our last stop in Ambo is one that won't be forgotten.  At our last home visit we met Alem.  (Pronounced All-um.)  Alem and her son and husband were living in Ambo's "low-income housing".  Alem was a beautiful woman about my age.  She had this beautiful, healthy baby boy about the same age as my Rosie.  While visiting Alem, she served us coffee and popcorn, a traditional dessert in Ethiopia.  We had a nice visit.  We played with her baby boy and gave him a few gifts.  I personally didn't feel any great connection, as I had on some other visits, but that was ok. 

 

It wasn't until we left her home and started the long drive back to Addis and our guest house that I learned Alem's story.  Her story, which took over an hour to tell, would best be told in a book.  I should have been taking notes.  Here's a little bit about what I remember of Alem's story:

 

Alem's parents died when she was just a child.  People would take her in but it typically didn't last long, leaving her on her own on the streets at a very young age.  Abused, neglected, and all alone, Alem, at the age of 14, married her first of 3 husbands and had her first child.  Her husbands family terribly mistreated her and punished her for not participating in their witch craft rituals.  Eventually, her husband abandoned her and her son, leaving her with her in-laws who continued to mistreat her.  Alem ran away, hoping to return for her son one day, but has never been able to do so. 

 

Alem went to Ambo where she knew she had an uncle.  She stayed with him and his family until she was old enough to live on her own and then he kicked her out.  Not long later, she married her 2nd husband and together they had 3 children.  Her husband became infected by HIV and left her abandoned once again, this time with 3 children and HIV positive.  Alem sought medical care for HIV, but when her friends and neighbors found out about her disease, they punished and tormented her, trying to drive her out of her community. 

 

Alem became very sick and depressed and had thoughts about killing herself.  The night she planned to end her life, a man knocked on her door and told her about Jesus.  Instead of taking her life that night, she accepted Jesus into her heart. 

 

Still incredibly sick, and fearing she was dying, Alem chose to give her children up for adoption.  She contacted Pochi at Covenant Church and she helped the children find homes in America. 

 

As time went on, Alem's health started to improve.  Pochi described her healing as a miracle.  A neighbor, the only person in her community who would help her, cared for her during these days.  After her recovery, the two married. 

 

Although still HIV positive, neither her husband or her new baby are HIV positive.  Her baby boy was actually one of the healthiest babies we saw our entire trip.  Alem continues to take medication.  She is able to stay home and care for her son while her husband works as a guard in Ambo.  Thanks to the support from Covenant, Alem's home has electricity and she has a cell phone. 

 

Alem has dreams about finding her oldest son one day, and maybe she will.  She receives communication from her three children in America and one of her sons had the opportunity to return to Ethiopia to visit her. 

 

I can't imagine the heartache this woman has felt, starting almost at birth.  Losing parents, children, husbands.  Abuse.  Neglect.  Poverty.  Homelessness.  Illness.  Isolation. 

 

And there she sat, serving us coffee and popcorn.  Smiling at her beautiful baby boy.  Thanking us for our visit. 

 

It was an honor.  An absolute honor to meet this woman.  A woman who chose life for herself.  Chose life for her children.  Endured more than I can ever comprehend. 

 

This was one woman's story.  I know there are so many more like hers.  What makes hers special is that she also chose Jesus.  In a land where Jesus is not well known and not widely accepted.  And Jesus has been showing his love and grace. 

 

God bless you, Alem.  God bless your children.  God bless your marriage.  May you be blessed with joy and peace the rest of your days. 

  

 

 

Alem served us a meal of coffee and popcorn

Her baby boy's beautiful feet in my hands. 

Alem preparing coffee.

Awasa

On the drive back from Shone, we took a bit of a detour to stop in a town called Awasa.  Our first stop was at a lake-side resort where we enjoyed a delicious breakfast buffet.  We sat outside on a patio overlooking the lake and watched as monkeys stole bananas off of people's plates (no lie). 



waiting for breakfast

breakfast is served

needed a lil sugar

After breakfast we hopped on a pontoon and went on a "hippo cruise"!  The driver knew right where to take us to find the hippos swimming in the water.  They were fascinating creatures, even if we mostly saw the tops of their heads and their backs.  My sister's perspective on hippos is that they are a true sign that God has a sense of humor.  We were  completely intrigued by these enormous creatures and seeing them in their natural habitat was definitely a highlight for us. 

Locals by the lake

hippo swimming

2 hippos

wishing Bella a happy birthday

Before leaving Awasa we stopped in a residential area on the edge of town.  This was the sight of a church plant of Covenant Church.  It was a fairly large lot with a small 1-room building on the lot.  As most churches were located in the center of the city, Covenant felt like this was a good location to plant a church because the people in the area could not easily get to the inner city churches for worship.

It didn't take long to "tour" the site, then we went inside and sat and visited with a few of the men in charge of the church there.  We sat and asked a few questions, learning a little about what was happening in this new church.  There wasn't a lot of room in the church for worshipers, so when the church was full, people started filling the lawn.  There weren't big signs or flashing light, it was word of mouth and curiosity that lead people there.  At this time, there were approximately 30 people worshipping on a regular basis. 

The walls in the church were ultimately bare except for 1 window and a drum hanging on the wall.  I of course had to ask, "who played the drum?" and "can we hear it played?"  It didn't take long for them to go out and find the drummer man, who was a little reluctant at first.  I guess we (I) did kind of put him on the spot.  However, this lead to the most amazing, impromptu worship service I will likely ever be a part of.  The men played and sang songs of worship, then asked if we could sing a song.   UUUMMMMM....  We sang "Amazing Grace" which didn't really have the same beat as their song.  We followed with our best attempts at a couple of bible camp songs which were accompanied by the drum. 

Just a drum and our voices.  There we sat, in what is likely the smallest church I have ever been in, singing praises to God with complete strangers, who were also our brothers. 

A.  Ma.  Zing!!!

Inside the church

The drum -
The only instrument (other than voices) used for worship in this place. 

 

1 man band.  Most amazing concert ever! 

The current land and building that Covenant is using for their church is being rented, but available for sale.  Our group felt called to help Covenant with this church plant so money was left for the fund to help purchase this land.  Although it was not nearly enough, we pray that they will soon have enough to be able to purchase this place and further develop their church in Awasa. 

Providence Guest House

While in Ethiopia, we stayed at Providence Guest House.  It was an absolutely lovely home, owned by Heavenly Hope Ministries, and was a wonderful alternative to staying in a hotel.  Much more affordable, much more homey, and the proceeds going to support a wonderful cause!

Mom, Beret and I shared a suite that had a full-size bed, bunkbeds, a crib, a couch, coffee table, bathroom, and a little patio.  The guest house was definitely home away from home for us.  We were well taken care of and had beautiful accommodations.  After long days, we were always thankful to pull up to the gate.  At least 1 person in the van would say "we're home!", knowing a hot shower, warm bed, and quite possibly a big bowl of popcorn waited for us. 

Standing outside our guest house.
*Note the gate.  Most homes and businesses were surrounded by a fence and had a large gate in front. 

Kathy on her balcony.
Our room was just below hers. 

The living area on the main floor.  I'm not sure we ever turned on the tv.
We did use the computer and were grateful for the wireless internet.

Christmas tree still up.

Homemade donuts - we had them several mornings for breakfast. 
They were absolutely delicious!

We all loved them!!!!

Breakfasts at the guest house every morning, and occasionally an evening meal or snack



Breakfast menu:  coffee, fruit smoothies, donuts, banana bread, eggs, pancakes, and/or oatmeal.
Typically very "American-friendly" and always delicious!

Tsige (far left) was our wonderful hostess at the guest house. 
She took good care of us, made our meals and cleaned up after us. 

One of a couple of guards who sat at the gate of the house. 
We appreciated their protection, although we never felt threatened. 

For more information on Providence Guest House and Heavenly Hope Ministries, visit their website:  http://providencegh.org/

I would highly recommend staying there when you visit!