Did she just say that?

It's no secret, our oldest is pretty quick with her comments.  Witty, spunky, funny, sometimes sassy.  Sometimes I can't help but laugh . . . other times I try hard to bite my tongue.

The other day we were on our way to DQ.  Instead of participating in the "what are you going to order?" discussion, Pinky was in the back seat fuming because I wouldn't let her listen to "her music".  I was in the front seat considering all of my ice cream options that were waiting at our destination. 

Me:  If I was nice, I would order something Rosie could eat.
Pinky:  If you were nice, you'd give me back my music.

She doesn't miss a beat.

She's also been begging for a dog lately.  Nothing new, but her perspective seems to have changed a bit.  One day I was in the living room trying to entertain her little sister who was fighting a nap.  Pinky was in the kitchen coloring.

Me:  Rosie, what am I going to do with you?
Pinky:  (Yelling from the kitchen) We could trade her for a dog!

Seriously, she doesn't listen when I am talking to her from 3 feet away, but this comment, made to her sister from another room she hears?  STINKER!

There are times I have a hard time finding the humor.  One day, her quick wit will serve her well.  But there are days in our house it would be in her best interest to tame it just a bit!

One final picture and quote from a little outing with her daddy to play baseball with her uncle and cousins. 

"Hey dad, do I look like a dude?"

At the end of the day, we sit and laugh about what she has said.  Of course we don't always let her know how humorous we find her.  But she does know we love her and all of her spunk and personality! 

Now what?

We've officially been home from Ethiopia for 6 weeks.  In that time, we've all had plenty of time to unpack our bags, settle back into our routines, catch up on some sleep, and start processing all that we did and saw . . .

And as we post pictures and share stories there's this nagging question in my heart:

 

NOW WHAT?

What do we do now that we have been there, seen the needs, met the people, had our hearts broken?

Yesterday, our team met for lunch.  While together, we viewed the video of our pictures . . . and then we discussed the now what. 

Although many of us would love to go back one day, the reality is, we can do just as much or more from home . . . We saw the areas of need . . . maybe our role between trips is to share our stories, raise awareness, and choose a few areas of need and focus on raising funds for these.

But how do you decide what is most important?

Church?  We know that in Awasa, they are trying to raise $18,000 to purchase the land for a church plant.  We've been there.  We saw the need.  We know that without this church, most of the people in the community do not have the ability to get to church to worship.  Isn't it our job to help spread the word of Jesus? 

Education?  Although school is free, children are required to have supplies and a uniform.  These cost money which many families don't have.  What if we told people that for $40, they could send a child to school for a year.  $40!  Think of what we spend $40 on without thinking twice:  a pair of sandals we don't need, another purse, dinner out, the movie theatre, a tank of gas, home décor.

Shone girls . . . striped shirts are their uniforms for school.

Job opportunities?  Several of the communities we visited have children sponsorships, which have been wonderful.  But how do we help these families become more self sufficient?  We learned about the possibility of helping develop farms in these communities.  The farms would create jobs, a food supply, as well as a source of income.  This income would allow families to become more self-sufficient.  Imagine how it would feel as a parent to have the opportunity to buy food for the family, clothes for their children, send all of your children to school . . . Oh wait . . . we already do that.  Without blinking an eye we do that.  What's harder to imagine is not being able to provide for the most basic needs of your family simply because the opportunity does not exist. 

Sanitation?  In Holetta, we learned of a desperate sanitation situation.  There's an area where land was being developed for small shops, but for whatever reason, the project was not completed and was abandoned.  Families started moving in and setting up their homes in this area, but the shops were not meant for housing . . . their is one major area lacking . . . bathrooms.  People are dying of diseases because they lack proper sanitation.  What if we could help build some kind of bath house that had showers, toilets, and a source of clean water?

More sponsorships?  Child sponsorships.  Family sponsorships.  Although not building self-sufficiency, these do help provide for some of the basic needs.  And sometimes, that is the best place to start! 

This woman has 4 children, but only her daughter is being sponsored.
How cool would it be to send all of her children to school?

Orphans/Orphanages?  How can we better provide for the orphans?  How can we improve the conditions at the orphanages?  We saw at Kebebe the impact of additional funding . . . more staff, better living conditions, better hygiene, improved health.  These children need us. 

A picture taken in Kebebe  Tsehai Orphanage

I look at the list and it seems daunting . . . but I remember that we have a BIG God!  And through him, all things are possible. 

We're home, but we haven't forgotten.

We're home, but our mission isn't over.

We're home, but we have more to do.

We're home, and we need your help!

Who am I to judge?

 

While in Ambo, we met another little girl, whose name I have since forgotten, but whose story will likely haunt me the rest of my life.   Pictured above, she is the one holding a little baby . . . Most of us would say we left our hearts in Shone.  I think we would also agree that our hearts were broken in Ambo.  Have you heard that before?  This little girl is another reason why.

If I had to guess, I would say this little girl is between 8-10 years of age.  We met her while handing out gifts to the sponsored children in Ambo.  We primarily brought gifts for the sponsored children, but not knowing exactly what sizes we were going to need, we always brought extra things with us.  This little girl was not one of the sponsored children, but she was a child the church had tried to help and had a special place in their hearts for. 

Pochi first met her several years ago, begging on the streets.  While trying to reach out to her, they discovered that her mom was desperately ill with AIDS.  Knowing that her mom did not have long to live, the church offered to help find a home for her, but the mother refused.  The mother's older daughters were unkind and uncaring, and she needed her youngest daughter to take care of her.  She sent her out to the street at a very young age to beg for food and money.  And when given the chance to give her daughter a better life, she chose to keep her with her.

Now, this little girl lives with an older sister and the sister's family.  From what we learned, they do not treat her very well.  She is in charge of taking care of the sister's baby all day and then sent out to the street to beg. 

I think of the life she has and the life she could have had and it makes me so angry.  I have been having a very difficult time not judging her mother, who I have never met and only know through this story.  Was her decision selfish?  Was she acting out of love for her daughter or love for herself? 

We invited this little girl into the gates, while other children stood hanging on the gates begging to come in and participate in our celebration.  We found clothes that fit this beautiful girl.  And then, like all the others, we sent her on her way. 

Later in the day, we happened upon her again when we were visiting Alem.  She had changed out of her new clothes and was wearing rags.  Most of the children we gave clothes to didn't take them off.  I was concerned that maybe someone had taken her new things from her, so I asked Pochi.  She told me that she was much to "tough" to have anything taken from her.  When asked, she said she was saving her new outfit for the upcoming holiday. 

I asked Pochi what would happen to her.  Her honest answer was this:  It's too late for her to ever be able to join a family.  She has been on the street too long and has had too many freedoms.  She would never be able to conform to the restrictions of a family.

And my heart broke. 

Because she could have had a family.

She could have had a mother and father who loved her.

She could have had siblings to play with and fight with.

She could have been going to school.

She could have had a closet full of clothes.

She could have had a full tummy, and a warm bed, and baby doll to play with.

I think of Alem and the sacrifice she made when she thought she was going to die.  She chose a better life for her children.  And she lived.  While this other mother chose the opposite.

This morning we read Matthew 25:1-13 in church.  It's a tough one . . . are we wise or foolish?  Not knowing when we will meet the one and only judge that matters, will we be ready?  Are the choices we make today preparing us for that day, for judgment day? 

I have no control over what happened or what happens to this little girl across the world.  It is not my job to judge this mom, although judgment comes quickly and easily, especially when children are involved.

So, what is my job?  This is what we read today:

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

Matthew 25:13

 

We even had a bracelet for her. 

Wearing her new outfit.  This pair of pants was much too small. 
We had a bigger pair for her but she insisted on keeping these too.
I don't blame her.  Quite possibly the first new pair of pants she'd ever had. 

Follow-up on Sweet Mesilu and the Looms

Sweet Mesilu

We just received word and pictures that Mesilu and her family received their beds!  Oh, what wonderful news! 

A man from Covenant church built three frames and then straw mattresses and blankets were purchased.  In addition, a neighbor agreed to share electricity so they can have a light at night.  You can't imagine what a gift this is for the family. 

When the rainy season comes soon, the family will also be able to plant a vegetable garden as they now have some funds for seeds.

Thank you to everyone who helped us bless this family.  My heart is singing with this update!!!! 

New Beds!!!!!

The family that stays with Mesilu and her family. 
Mesilu's BFF in purple, still wearing the outfit we brought!!!! 

Mesilu and her brothers on their new bed!!!
Mesilu still looking darling in the outfit we brought! 

LOOMS

We also received word that the first metal loom has been constructed for the Covenant Sisters in Holeta!  The hope is that 6 looms will be ready by the end of the month.

Constructing the loom
(The same man built the loom and the beds for Mesilu.)

Again, we can't thank you enough for helping us bless the Covenant Sisters with these looms.  We are so excited to hear about their progress as they begin to weave!  Please continue to remember them in prayer as they learn a new trade. 

My Valentine

1993 (Aren't we cute?!?!?!)

 

I've done a lot of gushing over my daughters on this site . . . and who can blame me? 
They are pretty cute.

But today, I recognize the man
who was the boy...
who stole my heart...
who popped the question...
who said I do.

I couldn't love you more! 
 

2004 (Best day ever!)

 

I can't imagine

sharing my life,

raising a family,

or waiting for anyone else to come home after a long day!

 



2013 (Family of 4)

Anniversaries

Tomorrow morning when I wake up it will be the three month anniversary of my broken heart.  The three month anniversary of losing a cherished friend.  The three month anniversary of questions and tears and sadness. 

Not a day has gone by in the last three months that I haven't thought of her.  Missed her.  Remembered her.  Wanted to see her.

I don't cry every day anymore.  Some days I find myself smiling or laughing as memories float by.  Other days I am completely caught off-guard by a tidal wave of grief.  And disbelief.  And some days, I look for her wherever I can find her. 

I have done so many things in the last 3 months that I never ever would have imagined myself doing.  I have done so many things without her that I wouldn't have typically done.  And I know it is just the beginning of this year of firsts. 

My sister keeps saying, "I can't believe this is part of my story." 

I say, "Me either."

She says, "We were supposed to grow old together."

I say, "We were."

And so tomorrow, we'll wake up to the 3 month anniversary of losing you.  It makes me not want to go to bed to postpone waking up.  I don't like this kind of anniversary. 

Maybe, as time passes, we'll be able to face these days with more joy and less sadness. 

But tonite, I cry for the friend I lost too soon.  Thinking long winter days are so much longer and wintery without her. 

January 2009

I miss you!

Alem

I have said many times that we left our hearts in Shone.  But my heart was broken in Ambo.  I don't really know how to explain the difference between these two communities, except that when in Shone, in spite of their extreme poverty, we saw and felt JOY from the people we met.  We heard about their love for Jesus in Shone.  We felt hope in Shone.

 

Ambo was different.  We met beautiful people and held beautiful babies.  Played with beautiful children and visited with beautiful grandmas.  But something was missing in Ambo.  Joy?  Hope?  The truth about Jesus? 

 

Like Shone, our last stop in Ambo is one that won't be forgotten.  At our last home visit we met Alem.  (Pronounced All-um.)  Alem and her son and husband were living in Ambo's "low-income housing".  Alem was a beautiful woman about my age.  She had this beautiful, healthy baby boy about the same age as my Rosie.  While visiting Alem, she served us coffee and popcorn, a traditional dessert in Ethiopia.  We had a nice visit.  We played with her baby boy and gave him a few gifts.  I personally didn't feel any great connection, as I had on some other visits, but that was ok. 

 

It wasn't until we left her home and started the long drive back to Addis and our guest house that I learned Alem's story.  Her story, which took over an hour to tell, would best be told in a book.  I should have been taking notes.  Here's a little bit about what I remember of Alem's story:

 

Alem's parents died when she was just a child.  People would take her in but it typically didn't last long, leaving her on her own on the streets at a very young age.  Abused, neglected, and all alone, Alem, at the age of 14, married her first of 3 husbands and had her first child.  Her husbands family terribly mistreated her and punished her for not participating in their witch craft rituals.  Eventually, her husband abandoned her and her son, leaving her with her in-laws who continued to mistreat her.  Alem ran away, hoping to return for her son one day, but has never been able to do so. 

 

Alem went to Ambo where she knew she had an uncle.  She stayed with him and his family until she was old enough to live on her own and then he kicked her out.  Not long later, she married her 2nd husband and together they had 3 children.  Her husband became infected by HIV and left her abandoned once again, this time with 3 children and HIV positive.  Alem sought medical care for HIV, but when her friends and neighbors found out about her disease, they punished and tormented her, trying to drive her out of her community. 

 

Alem became very sick and depressed and had thoughts about killing herself.  The night she planned to end her life, a man knocked on her door and told her about Jesus.  Instead of taking her life that night, she accepted Jesus into her heart. 

 

Still incredibly sick, and fearing she was dying, Alem chose to give her children up for adoption.  She contacted Pochi at Covenant Church and she helped the children find homes in America. 

 

As time went on, Alem's health started to improve.  Pochi described her healing as a miracle.  A neighbor, the only person in her community who would help her, cared for her during these days.  After her recovery, the two married. 

 

Although still HIV positive, neither her husband or her new baby are HIV positive.  Her baby boy was actually one of the healthiest babies we saw our entire trip.  Alem continues to take medication.  She is able to stay home and care for her son while her husband works as a guard in Ambo.  Thanks to the support from Covenant, Alem's home has electricity and she has a cell phone. 

 

Alem has dreams about finding her oldest son one day, and maybe she will.  She receives communication from her three children in America and one of her sons had the opportunity to return to Ethiopia to visit her. 

 

I can't imagine the heartache this woman has felt, starting almost at birth.  Losing parents, children, husbands.  Abuse.  Neglect.  Poverty.  Homelessness.  Illness.  Isolation. 

 

And there she sat, serving us coffee and popcorn.  Smiling at her beautiful baby boy.  Thanking us for our visit. 

 

It was an honor.  An absolute honor to meet this woman.  A woman who chose life for herself.  Chose life for her children.  Endured more than I can ever comprehend. 

 

This was one woman's story.  I know there are so many more like hers.  What makes hers special is that she also chose Jesus.  In a land where Jesus is not well known and not widely accepted.  And Jesus has been showing his love and grace. 

 

God bless you, Alem.  God bless your children.  God bless your marriage.  May you be blessed with joy and peace the rest of your days. 

  

 

 

Alem served us a meal of coffee and popcorn

Her baby boy's beautiful feet in my hands. 

Alem preparing coffee.